---ProDUCtiVITY---

Have you ever had one of those days?

You know where you just don't feel like doing anything,

and so you don't.

But then you feel completely worthless because you didn't do anything?

Doing nothing felt GREAT at first right?

But then it got kinda old, yet you still were just not movtivated to do ANYTHING?

You know, one of those days.

Wellll what if you felt like that for 5 months?

 or longer?

Not plesant eh?

Well that is how I have felt the past 5 months,

and I can tell you its horrible!

I can honestly say I have done NOTHING

for the past 5... or 6... or more... months!

It was not fun and it made me feel totally

useless.

But this post isn't about doing nothing.

Its about ProDUCtiVITY and the way I have felt the past three weeks (ish). And how I

am continuing to feel better and how that feeling is starting to give me the motivation to actually

do things.



Yesterday was probaly the best day I have

had in a LONG time!

I just kept going and going and going!

The best part... I actually FELT like doing things!!!

I accomplished so much yesterday!

From my spring cleaning at work, fixing my tire,

and of course giving Ju Ju a bath

and cleaning house, I felt like I did it all!

It made me feel so good

It made me feel like I could do ANYTHING!



And I'm still on roll!

I wish I could say that is just me.

That I just decided to change.

Unfortunatly there were a few factors that helped me.

I am not in ANY way complaining about

these factors. If fact the opposite.

I am so gratefull for all the help that I have!

But I am confident that one day it will just be me! 

It may have been a somewhat long

and bumpy road to get here,

And I'm not completely out of the woods. But

with the increase in my ProDUCtiVITY I am becoming more and more like myself.

More and more happy.

More and more out going.

More and more loveable

More and more just plane WONDERFUL!

Here's to ProDUCtiVITY!

New POSTS!!!

Soooo I have more

Posts coming I just can't post

them because I have no pics! All of the

pics are on my moms cam-

era!! SOOO I need

her to email me the pics!!! :)

Dont worry I will have her do this as

soon as

possible :) :) :) 

JU JU!!! *Just Pics!*

New tank.... pre habitat

Carrots and lettuce... He also eats live crickets powdered in calcium powder

Yes he does have a crooked spine/tail... I'm pretty sure he was abused in his last home he was kept in a tank that was too small for how big he is and only fed lettuce... so that is why he is crooked and small LOVE HIM!!

Him  in his NEW tank! :)

His stinky, old, too small tank!!!

My pet dragon :)

Why, yes, I have a pet dragon. A bearded dragon named Ju Ju. He is native to Australia and some might call him a lizzard but he is a DRAGON! Besides Hiccup the Viking, how many people do you know that can say they have a pet dragon?? :) I can! He has a crooked spine, I'm not sure if its suppose to be crooked or not, but if it is thats ok! Him and I can be broken together! I love him! He is more friendly than a dog and cuddles right on me. He is pretty much the coolest thing ever! I call him cute, but I'm not so sure that is the right word... more like AWESOME to the MAX! He is WAY cool and my best reptile friend :) I would post pics but I haven't taken any on my camera yet!! sooooo Pics soon!!! :) :) :)

Girl Put Your Record On, Tell Me Your Favorite Song, You Go Ahead Let Your Hair Down.

Ok so I basically just had the BEST/WORST weekend of my life!!! I don't even know where to START! It was CRAZY awesome! From a reunion with old roommates/friends, hanging with my little bro. and his buddy Branson, getting to spend time with my J family, AND just being a Rexburg period it was pretty much just down right AMAZING-ness!

First I'm going to start at the beginning. Not the beginning of the weekend but of my college career. Psych, I'm going to go back a little bit further. Just a little background, for a very long time I had always prayed for a best friend. I had many friends but I had never had that one "best" friend, bossom buddy, joined at the hip/tell EVERYTHING to BEST friend. So of course I turned to my father in heaven and prayed for one. Ok fast forward. 11 Days after I graduated high school I moved to Rexburg. I loaded up my car and waved goodbye to my mom as she stood on the doorstep while I drove away. when I got to rexburg I went to my apartment and I had my choice of three beds because I was the second one there. My roommate who had moved in was not their but her mom was and she was there setting up her computer, remember Mamma J?? So I choose that room. Alas, Kayla and I were roommates. If I recall correctly we didn't see much of each other untill that night. You know the usuall unpacking and organizing your things. But of course, being the wild and crazy person I am, decided we needed to break the ice. So hairbrushes/curling irons+Avril Lavign Sk8er Boi= new best friends! I turned the song on and made Kayla dance and sing with me :) I believe the two of us put together is proof that prayers are answered. I got my best friend and of course she got one AWESOME, very humble roommate.

(Please don't judge, its kind of an old pic!)

I believe Kayla knows more about me than even my mother. she knows EVERYTHING. She is truly my best friend. So that is why this past weekend in Rexburg was so bitter/sweet. I love Kayla and I am so proud of her! The reason I went to Rexburg this weekend was to see my best friend graduate from college. She did it!! She is a college grad now!! Through all the ups and downs of the past three years she made it! She is going to have to get a real job, or she can just move in with me and Kendl and we can get cats and library cards and sit at the bar as we grow old together. (I would pick the latter of I were her :) )

(Isn't she PRESH!?!?) 

So that was the sweet part of this weekend (well most of it!) The bitter part.... Saying goodbye and not knowing when I'm going to see her again. I KNOW I will, I just I'm just scared because I don't know WHEN. The whole weekend I was no looking forward to the "end". And I knew it was going to come, so everytime I thought about it I would tear up... I love her so much and I just want to be roommates with her FOREVER. I will never ever forget all of the amazing memories we made together... SO MANY!! Monkey Rock, roommate wars, white shirts/pillow cases and tears, just talking, just to name a few!!! I love you so much Kayla, and you are and always will be the answer to my prayers!!

Ok Kayla darling, I love you but know I have to recap the rest of the weekend!

So Kayla finished her student teaching in Las Vegas and was going to come see me in Logan before she headed to Rexburg. She was suppose to come Tuesday night from Provo, BUTTT she decided to lock her keys in her car :). So I didn't see her beautiful face until wed. afternoon! It was a GREAT reunion!!! I missed her so much (kinda like I do now!) So for wed. and thur. we hung out. We didn't do much 'cause there isn't much to do in Logan, but being together was AWESOME! (Oh we did go see "I am number four"- Great movie by the way!) Other than that we basically just ate junk food and watched movies!! I introduced her to "Psych" and we came to the conclusion that I am Shawn Spencer and she is Burton Guster. Translated: I'm the CRAZY one who has the crazy ideas and such, and she is the sane one who after a little bit of convincing will usually be crazy with me!! :)

On Friday I had to work but Kayla (being the best friend/sister and just down right AWESOME person that she is!) woke up at 7:30 so that she could get to Rexburg early and help Jesse and his friend find out what they needed to do to register for school early!

I got to Rexburg around 4 ish (I think) and went straight to Alli and BJ's (after picking up my little bro and Branson of course!) We hung out for a min. there and then went to Hayley's and Erika's and the FUN began!!! Kayla walked this night (I was suppose to go watch her walk but me being the horrible friend that I am backed out last min.) But her and her family went to her walking ceremony so I didn't get to see much of them on Friday.

(Me, Hayley, Kayla, and Erika before Kayla went to walk :))

Friday night Hayley, Erika, Jesse, Branson, Greg, and I all went to dinner at Gator Jacks. (Delish by the way! and the cutest atmosphere) We were there for FAR to long because Hayley, Erika and I were having a conversation and the boys started doing strange things... Like putting pepper in the salt shaker... and salt in the tabasco sauce.... and counting to three and smashing their cups all at the same time (Oh yes Greg joined in on the fun :) ) So needless to say we decided to leave! we went back to Hayley and Erikas and decided on a movie. We went to the Adjustment Bureau, which wasn't a bad show it just wasn't what I was expecting! After that we visited some more... And then the night began :)

(Biggest snowflakes of our lifes!!!)

Of course it started with Hayley, Erika and I going over to the pines and getting Dr. Pepper. (Which I'm not completely sure I needed sense I had a Dr. pepper at dinner, a grande vanilla latte earlier that morning, and a chai tea that afternoon... can you say caffien overload? PERFECT!)

(MMM Hayley.... TASTY!.... this pic is so attractive BTW)

(Saucy Erika!)

(ummm my lip may have collided with a tree..... 'nuff said)

So After the DP we decided to get "tatted" up!!! (Fake stick on tatoos of course!)  We each did three! One on our arm, one on our hip, and one tramp stamp!!! SO MUCH FUN! Then Erika had ten weeks of Wall Street Journal (she had to get for a class) that she needed to get ride of!!! By this time it was 1:45 ish and we weren't sure what to do with them. SOOO we went to see if Branson and my little brother had locked thier car doors. Which they hadn't. so what do we do with the news papers?

(Yeah were cute!)

:)

 :) Oh yeah... thats the back seat!!!  

Then we went back to Sweet 16, put the mattresses in the living room, turned on Ms. Congeniality, and I was out it 5 min, Hayley of course watched the whole thing and didn't go to sleep till 5 :).

(exhausted at 3 AM!) :) (Ps. Erika I still do not approve of your shirt!!!!)

Now it is Saturday. Day of commencment. Day my BEST friend graduates from college. I met up with Kaylas family at 8 so that we could get out seats (a little tired after not going to bed till three, but being with my family J was just awesome!). I got to sit by Mamma J (LOVE HER). So several great talks, many many pictures, introducing Mamma J to Kim B, and fighting back so many tears the graduation was over. A GREAT morning!

(I was a J child for a day!!!) 

Kayla's AMAZING fam!!!

After that we went and changed. We were all starving cause we hadn't eaten yet and it was lunch time so we went to Sammy's (Tasty Tasty!!!!) Erika then had to finish packing, so Kayla and I took her grandparents and my little brother out to Monkey rock and the bridge to show them around. When we came back Kayla took her grandparents around campus and Erika and I hung out for a little while. We of course went to G's Dairy (Gavins mess= pure happYness.) Then it was time for Erika and the boys to leave :( I miss you Erika!!! LOVE YOU CHICA!!!!

Finally it was Family J time!!! :) Mamma J, Dad J, My darling Kayla, Holly, Feryn, Baylea, and the Firestone Grandparents! We went out to dinner that night (Mamma J kept making fun of me because all I wanted was chicken stripes... their were tasty!) And of course we enjoyed a delish choco desseret, MMMM! Kayla and I then took G-ma and G-pa out to the sand dunes so they could have a look around. It was so wonderful to see them! I love the dunes and I wish i was back in Rexburg so we could have bonfires :(. After that Feryn, Baylea, Kayla and I sat around and talked for a while. Then it was bed time :). But don't worry "She greased my monkey" ;)

Then morning came. And it was time to say goodbye. and that probably all I'm going to say about that for three reasons. One: I hate thinking about it :( I miss my friend soooo stinkin much!!!! and Two: I already talked about it earlier in this post. and Three: This post is already SUPER long!!! So I just want to thank all of you who were able to stick it out and read the whole thing because it is very long!!

I love you Kayla and Hayley and Erika and ALL of my J fam!!!

StOrY oF mY lIfE

Whats the story dory? What am I doing right now? Well right now I am studying at Utah State University. I am working at a place called Check City. My life is completley crazy!! Here is my week outlined:

Monday-
     wake up and be to work at 7:45 or 10
     work till 1
     class from 1:30-2:30
     break (usually erronds, nap, or gym) 2:30- 5:15
     class 5:15-7:45

Tuesday-
    wake up and be to work at 7:45 or 10 (mostly 7:45 on tuesdays)
    work till 4
     class 4:30-5:45
     then usually gym (If I feel like it)

Wed.-
     Wake up and be to work at 7:45 or 10
     work till 1
     class 1:30-2:30
     (Wed. and Friday or probably my easiest days... and you know you think being done at 2:30 would give me some time but I usually end up having something to do that keeps me super busy)

Thursday- (worst day of the week)
     Wake up and be to work at 7:45 or 10
     work till 4
     class 4:30-5:45
     break 5:45-8
     class 8-10:30

Friday-
     wake up and be to work at 7:45 or 10
     work till 1
     class 1:30-2:30

Saturday-
     I will either work all day or go out of town :)

Sunday-
     Church, nap, the ush!!

So that is a week in the life of Hailey Dawn Gochnour... exciting I know right?

Thats just what I'm doing right NOW... In August I am planning on going to Russia for four months to teach english to kids!!! I'm so excited!!! Its going to be a GREAT experience!!! I really want to go to St. Petersburg, but my mom told me that there is only .3 hours of DIRECT sunshine in the month of december... it gets light but its so far north you can't see the sun. I have a sick obsession with the sun so this might be a small problem! So I might go to a city called Verozna which is almost directly east of Keive Ukrain. Or maybe I will go to Moscow. I don't know yet. But I really want to go to St. Petersburg so we will see!

The program I am going with is completley AWESOME. I will be living with a host family. I get both culural and language lessons while I am there. The kids I will be teaching will be between ages 4-16 (I get to choose my age group but I forgot which one I chose... :)) I will only be teaching for 4-5 hours a day so the rest of the time I will be able to travel and sight see! Also while I am there I get to the opportunity to travel to the baltics, Sweden, Finland, Norway and Ukrain. Words cannot express my excitment!

ANNNND thats the story dory!!!

If I could be any one.....

If I could be ANY historic, present, or futuristic person in this world, I would be Emily Dickinson. She locked herself in her room and wrote poems her whole life pretty much. Simply amazing poems. I love them. Of course, it is possible that, with my attention span, I probably wouldn't be able to make it a half day locked in my room by myself. But I think she is truly awesome for doing it! Seeing the world from only your bedroom window and being able to write the way she did was genius.  These are two of my favorites.

-The Chariot-

Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality.

We slowly drove, he knew no haste,
And I had put away
My labor, and my leisure too,
For his civility.

We passed the school where children played,
Their lessons scarcely done;
We passed the fields of gazing grain,
We passed the setting sun.

We paused before a house that seemed
A swelling of the ground;
The roof was scarcely visible,
The cornice but a mound.

Since then 't is centuries; but each
Feels shorter than the day
I first surmised the horses' heads
Were toward eternity.

-A Bird Came Down-

A bird came down the walk:
He did not know I saw;
He bit an angle-worm in halves
And ate the fellow, raw.

And then he drank a dew
From a convenient grass,
And then hopped sidewise to the wall
To let a beetle pass.

He glanced with rapid eyes
That hurried all abroad,--
They looked like frightened beads, I thought;
He stirred his velvet head

Like one in danger; cautious,
I offered him a crumb,
And he unrolled his feathers
And rowed him softer home

Than oars divide the ocean,
Too silver for a seam,
Or butterflies, off banks of noon,
Leap, splashless, as they swim.

Anything But Ordinary

"I would rather be hated for who I am then Love for who I'm not."

I heard this quote a long time ago, but recently saw it on a friend facebook status. I love this quote! I've been sitting here for about ten min. thinking of what else I can add on to this post... But nothing is coming to me. I also love the song "Anything But Ordinary" by Avril Lavigne. Personally I think they go together...

Sometimes I get so weird

I even freak myself out

I laugh myself to sleep

It's my lullaby

Sometimes I drive so fast

Just to feel the danger

I wanna scream

It makes me feel alive

Is it enough to love?

Is it enough to breathe?

Somebody rip my heart out

And leave me here to bleed

Is it enough to die?

Somebody save my life

I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

To walk within the lines

Would make my life so boring

I want to know that I 

Have been to the extreme

So knock me off my feet

Come on now give it to me

Anything to make me feel alive

Is it enough to love?

Is it enough to breathe?

Somebody rip my heart out

And leave me here to bleed

Is it enough to die?

Somebody save my life

I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.

Let down your defences

Use no common sense

If you look you will see 

that this world is a beautiful 

accident turbulent suculent 

opulent permanent, no way

I wanna taste it 

Don't wanna waste it away

Sometimes I get so weird

I even freak myself out

I laugh my self to sleep

It's my lullaby

Is it enough?

Is it enough?

Is it enough to breathe?

Somebody rip my heart out

And leave me here to bleed

Is it enough to die?

Somebody save my life

I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

Is it enough?

Is it enough to die?

Somebody save my life

I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

Confusion....

I'm at that point where I have to make so many decisions... Decisions about who I want to be and who I don't want to be. Looking at it like that can make it look so easy, after all you can only be one person right? But its not easy. Deciding who you want to be is a big decision that affects EVERY small choice you make. The way you dress, the way you talk, what you eat, what activities you do, the TV you watch, where you work, what you study, how you wake up in the morning, everything is affected.

I guess that is where my confusion comes in. I wanna be someone I'm not so bad. I want to be that person but I act like a different person. I think its because I feel like I fit in better when I act this way than I would if I acted like the person I want to be. Which sounds stupid, but right now my life is missing so many things that fitting in seems to fill a few of those holes.

Someday I hope I can figure it all out and finally be happy being who I am. But for now... Imma just focus on RUSSIA baby!!! :) :) :)

None of these pics have to do with this post.... But this is who I want to be :)

In the NC

Miss him, Love him, Love what he is doing, Only a year left!! :) :) 

Yes I love photography thanks for asking!

She's my CUZ <3 her!!!

Yes we are jumping on the tramp, in the dark, in our prom dresses :) 

LOVE US!!!

One of the MANY reasons why she is my best friend!!!! She's my green little avatar!!! (And she's prolly gonna kill me for posting this!!!! YaY!!!)

MMMMM Candy bars!! :) :) :) 

*~*The Setting Sun*~*

This is how the sun sets in Burley Idaho. 

Oh just out at our farm :) 

from the train bridge

again the train bridge

Ok so these ones might actually be a sun rise... My mom and I had to take Kyerin and Madi to the airport in twin one morning and the sun rise was BEAUTIFUL! and I think these are those pics... which is fine by me because they are just as awesome! 

Another sunset

and yet another! :)